Psychological Harmony
by tastes-like-ciel
Summary: The human mind is truly a wonder. It alone can melt the barriers we call “reality” and allow the unreal to become real, a dream to become corporeal. // "The only difference is that I’m not restricted to the confines of your mind anymore.”


Title: Psychological Harmony

Genre: Angst/Romance

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: AU. ZeroLulu and SuzaLulu. Self-challenge. A few curse words. This was quick. XDD And it's weird, I know!!! DX

Summary: The human mind is truly a wonder. It alone can melt the barriers we call "reality" and allow the unreal to become real, a dream to become corporeal. // "You made me, Lelouch, that hasn't changed. The only difference is that I'm not restricted to the confines of your mind anymore."

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

Serena: This is the second part of my self-challenge. I chose "Insanity" as my theme this time because I've been _dying_ to write a ZeroxLelouch fic. This pairing has always intrigued me for some reason and after taking a trip to the Code Geass Kink Meme and reading a fic with this pairing…my weird liking for it increased. xD I suppose for this particular piece, such a pairing could be considered as narcissism, but I thought of Zero as a separate entity while writing this…so _I_ do not consider this to be narcissism at all. But think of it how you will. XD This turned into more of a "feel and sound" type of thing than just plain insanity…and that title…not so sure about it now. But, it does stick to the "Insanity" thing…sort of.

-X-X-X-X-

"Insanity is often the logic of an accurate mind overtasked."

- Oliver Wendell Holmes

-X-X-X-X-

The bow sung as the cords were struck. The bell-like melody it created carried a sad ring to it as it reverberated against the walls of the empty room. The hand guiding the bow was pale and delicate, moving in steady movements. The hand's owner had his eyes closed and his silky black hair hung around his face in perfect symmetry.

He did not need to see the melody's notes for the notes he played existed only in his mind, in the very core of his soul. He _felt_ this melody, this sad symphony of strings and cords that no one could understand.

He made a series of swift movements, increasing the tempo. The melody grew bittersweet. The notes twisted together, expressing something that he himself did not quite understand. But that was alright. He would continue playing until the end instead of pausing to ponder this sudden twist.

His quick movements began to slow and the melody grew softer. It maintained the same melancholy tune, but it had somehow grown beyond another's ability to express using words. It could only be felt, but that was the reason this enchanting melody existed at all. It was meant to be felt rather than be heard.

The melody grew softer and softer until it died completely.

His eyes opened and there was an unreadable look swimming in their amethyst depths.

He remained still for a moment, the violin and bow still poised in preparation to play.

He sighed and lowered the instrument to his lap.

"I haven't heard you play the violin in such a long time."

The quietness of the room was disturbed as a voice cut through the air and amethyst-colored irises caught the gaze of a pair of emerald ones.

The emerald ones glistened in a contented sort of happiness.

"Lelouch," the other continued, the sound of his footsteps echoing throughout the room. "you're as good a player as I remember you being."

A light pink blush spread across Lelouch's cheeks. It wasn't very noticeable, but he probably gave himself away when he tried to hide it.

"Suzaku…how long were you listening?" he asked.

He set to work on setting the violin back into its velvety case. He had no desire to play anymore for the time being.

Suzaku smiled sheepishly.

"I'm not quite sure, but I think you must have just started when I overheard." he admitted. "I didn't want to interrupt you…so I tried to stay quiet."

Lelouch shook his head in disapproval as he clicked the violin case shut.

"Eavesdropping, I see." he muttered. "I expected better of a soldier."

He paused and shook his head again.

"No…perhaps it's _because_ you are a soldier that I should have regarded it as a possibility." he added.

He lifted his head and sent Suzaku a little smirk.

"You wouldn't happen to be a spy, now would you?"

Suzaku rolled his eyes and frowned--though it more resembled a pout.

"You're just _dying_ to turn me into a criminal."

Lelouch's smirk remained in place as he stood from his kneeled down position on the floor with the violin case in hand.

"If it means you'd quit the army, I'm all for it." he responded.

This time, he received a disapproving look from Suzaku.

"Lelouch."

Lelouch chuckled.

"I know, I know. You'll never do it." he said, waving the unspoken argument off as he tried to walk around Suzaku. "It's foolish of me to get my hopes up."

He tried to walk around Suzaku, but an arm wrapped around his waist and wouldn't let him go.

"You know I would quit if I could." he murmured, his other arm joining the one around Lelouch's waist. "But…it's just not as simple as you think it is…ah…I wish I could explain it to you in words."

He sighed and he lifted a hand to push away silky locks of black hair so he could brush his lips against Lelouch's pale cheek.

"But I'm not as good with words as you are. I don't have your brilliant mind." he finished softly. "I'm sorry for disappointing you."

"Suzaku…"

Suzaku didn't let him continue--if he had anymore to say. Maybe he did have more to tell Suzaku, but as a pair of lips pressed against his own, words suddenly became unimportant. The only thing that mattered then was the emotions and sensations he felt when Suzaku held him, caressed him, and finally took him.

The violin was locked away inside its case, but as a daughter of sound, even it could appreciate the harmonious melody that the two created.

And the violin thought it was beautiful.

-X-X-X-

"_I don't have your brilliant mind."_

That's what Suzaku said. He said he had a brilliant mind.

Brilliant.

_Brilliant…_

"Is something still considered brilliant even when it's tainted with poison?" he asked the empty room. "Is it still beautiful? Even if it's twisted?"

He wasn't expecting an answer…or, perhaps he had been expecting it because his face betrayed no surprise, no shock, at the voice that answered him.

"Poison is beautiful in its own right." the voice answered.

It was distorted and carried an echo, as if hiding its true sound. He recognized the voice; however, it was hard not to recognize. After all, the voice of one who was revered by some and despised by others, a voice that resounded throughout the world with untold power, could not belong to a stranger.

A voice that he himself had given life to. He would be a fool not to recognize it.

Or, rather, insane.

But perhaps that was exactly why the voice did not bother him. Because _he_ made it.

_He_ made it infamous. _He_ gave it a soul and a name.

He just no longer had any control over his creation…that was all.

"Even the things that the world considers as 'twisted' are beautiful in their own unique way." the voice continued. "Take Snow White for example. She bit into a poisoned apple and remained beautiful even in death."

"Are you comparing me to an apple?" Lelouch asked, a frown tugging at his lips.

It looked more like he was pouting.

The other hmphed.

"Apples are considered the forbidden fruit due to a mistake, aren't they?"

"So now I'm a mistake? That's a rather cruel thing to say." Lelouch muttered, drawing his knees to his chest.

He buried his face in an attempt to hide himself from the other.

Never mind that he knew it was childish of him to try.

He felt the gentle caress of fingers combing through his hair and he admitted that it was rather soothing. He had performed such an action on Suzaku countless times. The brunet's hair was always so soft and he loved the feel of it. It was pleasure for the both of them whenever he performed the action.

"Not so much a mistake as 'forbidden fruit'. You have that 'look but don't touch' quality to you." the other explained.

Lelouch felt the fingers combing through his hair slowly travel down to his shoulder.

"It makes it hard not to try."

"Is that why you try then?" Lelouch asked, his voice muffled. "Because I'm 'forbidden'?"

Had Lelouch been able to see the other's face, he would have seen a devilish smirk. And he would have known that this man was up to no good.

But wasn't he always? It was his nature to be rebellious, wasn't it?

Because he made him that way.

As things were, Lelouch did not see it and he had no foreshadowing to be wary of.

"Perhaps."

Lelouch felt those fingers begin to trace the curves of his shoulder blades through the thin white shirt he was wearing and he shivered involuntarily. He jerked away from the touch and sent a heated glare at the other.

"Leave me alone." he demanded. "You are nothing but a figment of my imagination. You. Are. Not. Real. Stay in my mind where you belong!"

Despite this apparent order, the other did not move. He remained and he seemed amused.

Lelouch did not need to remove that Godforsaken mask to know. He could tell by the tone of the other's voice.

"How many times must we go over this, Lelouch?" he asked the glaring teenager. "How many times must I tell you that I am real?"

"You aren't." Lelouch insisted.

"Then tell me…" the other began, grabbing hold of the Lelouch's face and drawing closer to him. "If I am not real, how is it that I can touch you?"

He brushed a few strands of hair away from Lelouch's left eye.

"How is it you can feel my hands when I touch you?" he asked. "A figment cannot do such things."

Lelouch yanked the hands away from his face.

"_I_ created you. You're a part of _my_ mind. The illusion wouldn't be as convincing to me if it were someone else experiencing this."

The other chuckled in amusement.

"As brilliant as always."

"_I don't have your brilliant mind."_

That brought him back to his original musings.

Could something tainted still be brilliant?

Suzaku was always saying how beautiful and smart he was. Lelouch couldn't count the number of times Suzaku would compliment him.

Or say, "I love you."

'_Would he still love me even if he knew I was tainted? That I had _him_ living in my mind?_'

It hurt his heart to think that Suzaku would stop saying those three little words that made his heart flutter…all because of _him_.

Honestly, sometimes Lelouch thought about quitting, just giving that whole thing up. Sometimes he would think that if Zero no longer existed, then Suzaku would have no reason to stay in the military. It was times like then…

"_I worry about you, Lelouch. Sometimes I think that that terrorist will target you next." _

"_I wish Zero would just disappear."_

And times like that…that he honestly considered just giving up. He didn't want to hurt Suzaku, but…it wasn't so easy to quit. He was in too deep for one thing. Secondly, he still wanted to change the way the world was and make a safer and gentler place for Nunnally and Suzaku.

"That boy…you know it'll never work. The two of you are on opposite sides." the other stated. "Plus, he hates me, doesn't he?"

Lelouch sighed.

Yes. He knew…but if he did his best to keep it a secret-

"You can't keep me a secret forever." the other stated, that hand of his sweeping out to touch Lelouch's hair.

"Yes, I can." Lelouch insisted, batting the hand away.

"And how do you propose to do that?"

The other sounded amused again.

Lelouch opened his mouth to reply, but he paused. He couldn't think of a response.

"You see? As Zero, I was created as a symbol of justice, a kind of dark knight given the power to raise an army against those that would stand against his country."

"…"

Lelouch could hear the smirk in his voice and did nothing to prevent being pulled into the other's arms.

He had no fight left in him to bother trying.

He was tired, both physically and mentally.

"You made me, Lelouch, that hasn't changed." the other continued. "The only difference is that I'm not restricted to the confines of your mind anymore."

Lelouch felt the arm around his waist tighten and felt a hand travel up to caress his cheek.

"I wonder…would you feel the same with me as you felt with _him_?"

And suddenly, words lost their meaning to Lelouch.

-X-X-X-X-

Serena: MUAHAHA!!! They added Zero's name to character list because I asked them to~. And I am very happy about that~. This means I can write all the ZeroxLelouch fics I want. XD No…I'm kidding (about the pairing thing). But if I (or anyone else) ever wants to, they can~. x3 Or use Zero's name when Lelouch's or Suzaku's wouldn't fit for whatever reason. Either way…I'm happy about it. ANYWAY, spare a review? :D I'd REALLY like to hear your thoughts about this one-shot. The main reason being because the ZeroxLelouch thing is just so weird…but it fits with my prompt, yes?


End file.
